here and future

I was able to wrestle myself free of the view that right was whatever would benefit me in the future--with an idea that it was always doing, meditating, exercising, reading, etc. The realization that the best requires a Nowness... With this, however, I started with an exclusive now which pushed out future planning. Now that I have a Now which is inclusive, yet still somewhat centered in feeling, I must re-integrate future, planning, etc. Initial problem: I had the old uncompromising super super crazy hard expectations of perfection, planning 3 hour spans with 30 minute breaks leads one to simply feel bad about failure--or push beyond limits of friendliness to self.

So, now I may muscle test or simple listen to myself when I may be asking too much. I can ask myself simply if this feels right, if I'm having jarring emotions, dropping things, ask myself, "did I forget something?--how may I be resisting my true purpose--which includes playful passing nows and preparations for healthy happy futures.