dream

Last night I dreamed that my father was dispensing all important fatherly wisdom at a party with lots of guys and for some reason a really big smoothie that wasn't enough for everyone which was made surprisingly quickly in my blender with some big jar or something attached.

Anyway, a guy who had been verbally aggressive/not nice towards me in the past (in real life)--practicing having the balls to tell someone to save the world or something. This kid was disrespecting or otherwise harming my father, and I aggressed (moved towards) this boy with a force, basically crushing him into the wall behind him, a Water Boy sort of move. He was passed out for a bit and my old father was able to recover.

Two big things about this dream were that A: my father notably was sharing wisdoms and rapidly, side note: smoothie might be some kind of symbol, and B: I was able in dream to realize my aggression towards this boy.

Repressed aggression is actually what I was reading about last night in No Boundary by Ken Wilber. And, I'd practiced noticing tightness, tightening that tightness and getting in the mind set, then allowing it to release on its own and didn't consciously see what was underneath but had some mental/emotional leanings which might have culminated in this dream.

It seems I am not to disown aggression but say yes to it. Surely I have to make proper use of it, but to know and recognize and own my aggression is quite fine.

Also something that reminds me of waterboy, looking over this, is that I took someone who, while the guy in question wasn't physically strong, I considered him much better at verbal battle, and thus it is protective for me to pretend I don't want to fight. Yet, in reality, I obviously want to kick his ass, but I need to see him as a child in order to express those feelings properly. In reality this would hopefully simply allow the original aggressor (him) some insight into his aggression, that is, I need to be able to properly bounce the experience of his aggression back towards him so he can feel the energy he is releasing and come to terms with it--at the point of contact, my anticipation of failure reduced my ability to even side-step getting into a verbal tussle and let the aggressor know that he had been hurtful. Despite this owning of aggression, I think the best response to the actual experience would be to have told him that winning me over with love would be more effective than coercion. Instead I was silent, a 60% effective response, but not a 99 or 100% effective response.