sex

sex is better when told that "we should just do sexiness, without the sex"--drives me into simply enjoying what is going on rather than seeing it as path to something else, seems to fit this situation at least--tell this to self even if it isn't true, we're doing sexiness without the sex, just enjoy these moments at they are.

also, interesting: it is hard to figure being out of the moment if you can think while in it, but the experiential difference here is being in a desire, being stuck on that, vs. seeing what is going on in the moment that is enjoyable of itself.